Thanks to Olga the Efficient Manager you can see this page from the Eisk newspaper. Translation courtesy of brother Andrew.

“HE WON THE HEARTS OF YEYSK”

“On the 20th of July the Yeysk city Cultural Palace was stuffed to
capacity with impatient music-lovers, who were prepared to meet the
professor of the music faculty of the American university from the
city of Cedarville John MORTENSEN.”

“Before the beginning of the concert, the pianist agreed to meet
(associate) with your correspondent. And just a few minutes of
conversation showed that John is an open person, possessing a
wonderful sense of humor. He’s been in Russia twice already.

“But for John Mortensen Russia has always been close musically. He
plays with especial passion the works of Sergei Rachmaninoff. ‘I don’t
speak Russian, I speak Rachmaninoff,’ was heard from the mouth of the
pianist during the concert. And truly, during the performance of the
work of the great Russian composer, in the hall peoples of different
nationalities disappeared–it seemed from the stage sang and wept the
Russian soul. The chords of the next Rachmaninoff prelude had not even
been played, and the hall was already conquered.”

“It would seem to the casual observer that John played with absolute
ease (absolutely lightly), as though without applying any force. As
though the music engendered itself, and the fingers of the pianist
only flitted about on the keyboard. What a mistake to think so! With a
sweet smile John Mortensen asked for a pause. And so that all was
understood, he showed that it was time for him to wipe his brow and
drink water. The audience, smiling, allowed the pianist a ten-minute rest, although
only a few left the hall–such was the effect of Prof. Mortensen.”

“How does one judge the masterful performance of the pianist? In the
hall were teachers from the school of arts, admirers of contemporary
classics, and people for whom classical music reveals itself only
thanks to the Philanthropic Foundation. Only a professional of the
very highest level compels the sensitive soul to respond and weep,
laugh and love together with his instrument.”

“And, as John Mortensen showed everyone, for him there are no musical
genres that are higher or lower, for him it’s important to inject with
high-quality everything that he accounts crucial to present to his
listeners. Having noticed from the faces of the people in the hall
that they understood the word ‘tango’, he without delay asked, ‘You
understand tango? This will be jazz.’ And he thereupon leapt up and
showed how one dances this beautiful dance. He did a few
steps with an imaginary partner, but the hall was captivated by his
spontaneity, the jazzy variations on the theme ‘Love tango’ were
greeted with cries of ‘Encore’. Our palms burned.  But no one regretted it.
Because then were offered two beautiful works of Johann Sebastian
Bach. Written for the organ, they were transcribed for fortepiano by
famous composers.”

“In these moments, there are no more dreadful words than that the concert is nearing its end. And the fatigued
but all the same happy and benevolent pianist still played on. And the
audience showed him with applause that they were ready to listen to
him endlessly.”

“So we were very fortunate to hear the true essence of John Mortensen,
(in a piece) written by him for his younger son, and he concluded his
appearance with a performance of modern American rag-time. And we
didn’t know whether to clap in rhythm, or to remember we were at a
serious concert and comport ourselves more reservedly. I think if the
pianist’s hair hadn’t been dripping with sweat, the audience wouldn’t
have remembered that it was time to give the artist a rest.”

“Taking his leave, John praised the Yeysk public, pleased that so many
youth were in the hall. Young people came to the hall knowing
precisely that they’re there to listen. In his city, getting youth
into a similar concert would be much more difficult: young people
prefer to receive sounds with the aid of music players. And when asked
what he wished for the people of Yeysk, he said that we Russians
should carefully preserve our Russian originality. We have enormous
potential, we possess a history, unique culture, we have before our
eyes the examples of great people. ‘Remain yourselves!’ John Mortensen
said to us.” You might have quoted Polonius instead.

“There are still a few events remaining for the people of Yeysk in the
course of the festival. In August, the opera ‘The Marriage of Figaro,’
in which muscovite opera singers will sing. In September, another
encounter with Mikhail Petukhov awaits us. But…with the perfection
of the philanthropic festival interest in beautiful music can’t dry up
in Yeysk. We should build a further musical life of our own. How sad
that the wonderful project of the Philanthropic Foundation approaches
its end!”

Written by Iulia Suslova. Photos by Tatiana Kaliama.

To satisfy the unrelenting hunger of the general public for Irish music videos, we present five new vidbits which were recorded in April. Go to the homepage of The Demerits and scroll down a ways.

Here, gentle reader, is the long-awaited story of my trip to Russia.

The flight from New York to Moscow is long: 9 or 10 hours. So one awaits ones seat neighbor with a certain anxiety. To my chagrin he was large, grumpy, and in need of the application of a firehouse to his person. To my delight he found a better seat and moved. Two seats to myself: Huzzah!

In the middle of the night, while failing to sleep on the plane, I went to the restroom to brush my teeth and discovered, after squeezing the tube out onto the toothbrush, that I had grabbed antibiotic gel instead of toothpaste out of my bag. Eeeew. Dodged a bullet there.

The sun never quite set that whole night. We were far enough north that one can more or less peek over the top of the earth and catch some sunlight from around the other side. The sun went down, created a nice sunset, and then just stayed like that for several hours. Then it popped back up as we were crossing Norway.

Mikhail Petukhov, who invited me to play this concert, met me at the Moscow airport with Olga, the artist manager for this concert venue. After a long taxi ride we arrived at an apartment which Mikhail keeps near the Tchaikovsky Conservatory. It is almost completely in the 19th century in its decor and vibe, as one would expect from him.

After three hours’ sleep I went over to the Conservatory, a five-minute walk. Mikhail checked out a key to the studio of Tatiana Nikolaeva, who had been his teacher. She was also the pianist for whom Shostakovich wrote much of his music.

The Tchaikovsky Conservatoire

Nikolaeva’s Studio

After four hours of practice (Mikhail went off to practice as well) we got something to eat and walked over to Red Square. The city is now swallowed by voracious consumerism. There are giant advertisement placards and glowing signs everywhere, supplanting the Soviet propaganda of the previous generation. But like the propaganda, they also aim to define what it means to be happy, to be Russian, and to be human.

There are extensive pedestrian tunnels running under the streets, which are probably useful considering the volume and aggressiveness of the traffic above. However, the tunnels are stuffy, gloomy, and dirty. At one point we encountered a rock band that had set up subterraneously, drumset and all, and had drawn a crowd of partying young Muscovites into the sinister world below the street.

Mr. Neuhaus thinks it over.

1892 grads included Rachmaninoff (PAXMAHNHOBb)

The next day I was given the studio of Heinrich Neuhaus. This is the room where Gilels and Richter were students, for crying out loud. For you non-pianistic civilians, that is a very big deal.

View from Conservatoire towards Kremlin

In the evening, another long walk around town, this time past the mighty Church of the Savior, which was destroyed by Stalin and later rebuilt brick for brick. Moscow looks really good by night.

Church of Christ the Savior

Mikhail and Me.

Kremlin and River.

The next day it was time to go to Yeysk. I was taken there by Olga the Manager, who very efficiently planned every taxi ride, meal, flight, etc. We sat in the Moscow airport and I wondered which plane we would take. I have always been a little afraid of Aeroflot but could see that they had nice new Boeing planes. Yet the shuttle took us past all the trustworthy planes and deposited us next to an old Soviet-era Tuplolev-134. Ohhhhhhhhh Kaaaaaaaay.

Actually it was fine…the plane only made contact with the ground when it was scheduled to do so.

Tupolev-134

Upon landing I realized we were on a military base, and I saw the bombers lined up on the tarmac just as they had appeared on the satellite picture. We were shooed onto a cattle-car thingy and driven off the base to a small building. Our luggage followed in (no kidding) a dump truck.

Yeysk is very pleasant and relaxed after Moscow. Even though it is a large city it never feels like one, because there are no highways or busy roads. It was mostly built in the 19th century, so the structures are typical of provincial Russia of that time.

Fountain in Yeysk

Typical houses in Yeysk

The concert was in the local Palace of Culture or Culture Center or whatever it is now called, which has a large theater of perhaps 600 seats. Just as I was warming up, a television crew appeared and it was announced that I was to be interviewed. An interpreter also showed up and someone clipped a microphone to my lapel. The last question was something about what I have to say to the People of Yeysk. Uhhhhh…Eat a balanced breakfast? Wait one hour before swimming?

Palace of Culture

Inside the theater

The piano was ox-like, in that its strength was more evident that its refinement. The audience was quite responsive and sometimes even vocal, and although they liked Rachmaninoff a lot, they liked the Piazzolla tangos the best. They did that magnificent rhythmic clapping at the end of the concert that is traditional in Russia.

Another TV crew conducted an interview after the concert; there are two stations in Yeysk, so I am assuming that I utterly dominated the news hour that night. He’s on every channel!

You can buy a glass of Kvas in the Yeysk market if you want.

The flight back to Moscow was not until afternoon, so Olga showed me some more of the city, as she is a native and quite proud of it. Eventually we got out to the end of the point of land on which Yeysk sits, and by which it juts into the Sea of Azov.

By the Sea of Azov

A glacier in Greenland, seen from the plane.

…is not the setting of a story but an actual place, to which my actual self is going this week. Actually.

My friend Mikhail Petukhov invited me to play a concert for a music festival they have in this city, so off I go, first to Moscow to visit Mikhail and practice for a few days, then way way way down to Yeysk. (Also spelled Yeisk and Eisk.)

Zoom out on the map and you can see that it is on the Sea of Azov, which is a sort of sidekick junior sea off the Black Sea, which is itself kind of Assistant Sea to the Mediterranean. Such is the hierarchy of the seas.

This is all assuming that I find my passport and visa in the mail on Monday morning. I filled out a three-page form to get a Russian visa, and they ask (among much else) whether you have any nuclear weapons skills.

What music does one play in Yeysk?

A sonata and toccata of Pietro Domenico Paradisi, to start. Four bodacious tunes from Rachmaninoff, to keep going. Two of my own transcriptions of tangos by the mighty Astor Piazzolla. Pause. Drink water. Mop brow. A sad and serious piece by Bach, transcribed for piano by Samuel Feinberg, and finally the monumental and vertiginous Chaconne in D minor by Mr. Bach, transcribed by Ferruccio Busoni. And assorted encores of widely varying artistic tonnage.

I will get some pictures and tell you stories of my adventures when I return.

The Ohio legislature has applied its governmental boot to the vulnerable fundament of the payday loan industry. The payday loan shops, which have been springing up like weeds (an apt comparison) in poor neighborhoods nationwide over the last few years, are nothing but loan sharking with a snazzy logo and a formica countertop.

Charging victims $15 for a loan of $100 for two weeks, the shops do not tell their prey that the annual percentage rate of those terms comes to 391%.

The new law limits interest rates to 28% annually, and the payday places are dropping like flies (also an apt comparison).

I would like to say a few things to the payday loan industry:

1. YOU SUCK. You knew exactly what you were doing when you set up in those poor neighborhoods, enticing folks into unpayable and ever-increasing debt. You are evil. You are criminal. You make the world worse everyday by getting up and going to work.

2. HA HA. You lose. Your stock prices are plunging and you are losing a fortune. 1,600 of your debt traps will close in August in Ohio. It is so beautiful when evil is brought to justice.

Read the full story here.

Howdy, folks. Just so’s you know, our new CD “Made from Scratch” is on iTunes as well as CD Baby. They even give you these cool buttons. Look what happens if you click them…

Yep. “Made from Scratch” is up on CD Baby, both as CDs and mp3 downloads.

Looks like this.

What we got here is a vid from St. Patrick’s, in which The Demerits mix a trad favorite with some heavy metal tunes.

Download if you dare. (mp4)

This was, of course, the rollicking annual St. Patrick’s gig, and we were joined by past guitarists Ben Kibbe and Chris Brubaker.  Nice big hoot fun.

A mighty snow it was.

Here is a vid for you, filmed by the steady (?) hand of my son Christian. The tunes are Brian Boru’s March, The Key to the Convent, The Earl’s Chair, and Drag Her Round the Road.

See it here.

In other music news, we have preliminary artwork selected for the CD, and it’s right purdy. Designed by the one and only Dave Sizemore. See example above.
The Demerits’ new CD “Made from Scratch” is now in production and will be released on April 10 at a super fun CD Release Party Concert Event and Tupperware Show. Advance orders are now open. Why order in advance, you ask? Excellent question.

Two reasons:
Reason Number One: You’ll get the CD five bucks cheaper. Saving money = good.
Reason Number B: You will help The Demerits fund the project. Helping = good.

To order, go therefore to this website do all that is written therein:

http://people.cedarville.edu/employee/johnmortensen/demerits.htm

Institutional Disclaimer:

The Demerits function under the austere governance and draconian whims of the Department of Music and Art.

Financial Disclaimer:

The Demerits receive product placement fee income from Tupperware, Alpo Dog Food, Spiff Shine Hair Ointment, and Toothless Earl’s Bodacious Banjo Parlor and Tractor Repair Emporium.